In Every Moment We Are Being Saved~ Bone Healing

In Every Moment We Are Being Saved 

There I was in all my glory, finally got to the toilet seat all on my own, when a charity group walked straight into my hospital room. Unaware of what's going on they begin singing and giving me their condolences and I am just sitting there, completely horrified and embarrassed as I try to politely kick them out of my hospital room. This was a common experience in the trauma wing. It was very difficult to have privacy during my 8 days in the hospital, needing assistance for everything, even moving from my left side body to the right. And at 19 years old, being told you’ll be in a wheelchair, then a walker and then limping for the next 9 months isn't the most uplifting healing process.

However, given the circumstances of my accident, I was nothing less than grateful and in a different state of peace than I ever have been before.

 In March 2019, I fell down a powerful 60-foot waterfall and luckily landed straight on my ass (rather than my skull), and survived with a broken tailbone, pelvis, sit bone, both my ankles and part of my shin. 

I know in every part of my soul and body that this accident was a blessing, a wake-up call, and a grand source of inspiration that drew me closer to my truest self. Also, the healing process; physically and mentally, has provided me with so much strength. This story will tell of the physical and energetic healing that I received from the “accident”. 

When one of my friends found out of my accident she texted me “ sounds like some root/sacral chakra healing you got going on there”. At the time I was not looking for that kind of response, but she wasn't lying. From my intuition and “Anatomy of the Spirit” by Caroline Myss and “Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom” by Christiane Northrup M.D the bones I broke symbolized the way I felt in my immediate family, my sense of belonging, safety/security (Root chakra), and relationship dynamics, honor in relationships (sacral chakra). 

Before the accident, I wouldn't have called myself completely unconscious, but I was living out certain stories that pushed me away from the love of my family, and my own intuition. I was in high “yang” energy- always on the go, working out all the time, driving a lot, full-time student, and drinking more than I usually do( the bootchcrafts add up :p ). I was also complaining a lot about living at home, feeling isolated from my family, and at the same time, I was very critical of them. Contrarily, in my other relationships, I was putting myself down, feeling dependent with poor boundaries. During my healing, as I enjoyed days of stillness, doing nothing but reading Siddhartha, eating clean, and journaling, I gave way for my intuition/ feminine energy to heal myself.

In the hospital I remained positive by meditating in the morning and at night (with insight timer), journaling at night, eating healthy food such as avocados, fruit, kale, smoothies, and kombucha, not the inflammatory hospital food. Also, I only took the intense painkillers the day of my accident, the day of my surgery, and the evening my nurse accidentally gave me oxycontin -.-. Other than that I stayed with Tylenol, even though every 4 hours I was “prescribed” the oxycontin. This allowed me to stay level headed throughout the pain.

The main healing, however, came in the form of family. Shoutout to my beautiful mother Noelle Villar, who stayed sleeping with me in the hospital for 2 nights, stood up to the doctors who really wanted to have me on heavy medication, brought me avocado toast, and kept me laughing and feeling loved throughout the whole process. Once I was able to be brought home in a special hospital bed placed in the living room, my dad would wash and brush my hair in the backyard and help with the bathroom difficulties( going to the bathroom without putting any weight on your ankles, and with a broken pelvis is a little tricky). I had always felt a little of an outcast with my family, like I was something unloveable to my mom. The mother energy is the energy of the household, it's what brings warmth to a home and in my case, my mom and I are very, very similar. We both love rollerblading, RATM, and laughing. Spending so much time with my mom and having her care for me again like a child is one of the main reasons why I would never trade the experience of my injuries. 

As I was no longer in school or working, my inner guidance had finally begun to bloom. I could pinpoint right away when my energy was being sucked out of me and where I was giving it to. This allowed me to honor my relationships, and honor my boundaries in a way without shame. 

I fell in love with the simplicity. The sleeping in and meditating with the morning, eating blueberries and drinking celery juice, and when my friends would come over and push me in my wheelchair. We all have our feminine and masculine sides and for my journey allowing myself to simply be, to listen to my body, and to feel no guilt when I'm not as “productive”  really set me free. 

The whole time of this process from broken to healed I remained on my vegan diet, which worked with no problems for me. I ate lots of kale, spinach, turmeric, berries, and honestly ate a lot less since my body was less hungry. That minimalism of my diet felt good in my energy as well, I was able to reflect on my overeating habits and let them go. When my best friends would come over they would put their hands on my ankles and send loving, healing energy to my bones. In the evening, my mom and I would sing some healing tunes to my bones.

From this experience, I learned positivity heals, as corny as that sounds.

In the hospital and from some people I would hear

“ That sucks!”,

“ You were drunk when you fell weren't you”,

“ those injuries take FOREVER to heal”,

“don't expect to walk anytime soon”.

None of this I really took personally, it's in the human ego to complain, but I saw it as a perfect time to put my learnings to practice and to simply not react and stay at my own frequency. The feeling of life as a true gift stayed with me throughout the pain and I will not forget the lessons. I began walking with a walker in April ( 2 months before anticipated), and on my own without a lot of pain in June! The doctors all said to expect being in a wheelchair until June, then Walker and cane until September and to still have a limp in the holidays.

The biggest takeaways of this physical healing time between March-June is the beauty of surrender, slowing down, and intuition. Although I would like to say I stayed in that zen space forever, I began walking again, then running, then back on that hamster wheel. Thanks to some psychedelic experiences in the next months I would really integrate and follow through with all these lessons. My body and spirit were calling me back, calling me home.

All my gratitude comes from and goes to God, the energy that creates life and is pure love. Thank you for reading a part of my story, and for those of you that were a part of this journey, I love you so much.

Savannah Villar

savvy.villar@hotmail.com

Medicine for bone healing: -Comfrey (right after a break) - Turmeric - coca leaf - CBD(pills and cream) - arnica 

I'm sure there's a lot more, but this accident happened before I had more herbal knowledge.